COLORADO
When Mindy Williford returned from a hike near Mount Blue Sky in Colorado, she was more than a little surprised to find out that mountain goats had done a number on her car — a dance number, to be precise, according to the footage (or rather “hoofage”) that Colorado photographer Michael Ryno caught with his phone. “I pulled over and started photographing, particularly the babies — this time of the year the young ones are running around and frolicking on the rocks,” Ryno told 11 News. “I was taking photographs, and all of a sudden a couple of adults started climbing up on the car.” Ryno’s video captured the mountain goats prancing atop the Subaru’s roof and roof rack as if they were dancing at Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club.” Ryno posted the video to Instagram, where it soon racked up more than a million views. An alert viewer noticed the license plate reading “GLAMP” on the car, and Ryno was able to connect with Williford. Williford had filmed her own evidence of the damage caused by the goats — “Dude, those are hoofprints on my car,” she is heard saying on camera — but had missed the actual performance. Luckily, the damage wasn’t too baaaaad. And what’s next for Oreamnos americanus? Obviously, time as dance contestants on America’s Goat Talent! Remember, you herd it here first.
UTAH
A popular rock formation called “Double Arch” — no, not the one in Arches National Park, but its geological cousin in Utah’s Glen Canyon National Recreation Area — collapsed Aug. 8. Its fallout “serves as a reminder that even stone is impermanent,” the Salt Lake Tribune reported. Karen Garthwait, a spokesperson for Arches and Canyonlands national parks, said that Arches alone has over 2,000 arches, but that many are not visible or visited by park goers. And similar arches do collapse, more frequently than people realize. While such breakdowns might be alarming — best not to camp underneath one — they are generally accepted “and even appreciated” by park personnel. “Arches National Park doesn’t protect arches. It preserves the natural processes that both make arches and eventually unmake arches,” Garthwait said, adding that the park’s mission “isn’t to stop time.” Just as well. Double Arch, also known as “Hole in the Roof,” “Crescent Pool” or, less poetically, “Toilet Bowl,” dates from the late Triassic or early Jurassic period, according to the National Park Service. After 190 million years, you’d collapse, too.
OREGON
Speaking of stopping time, tortoises can live upwards of 150 years. Then again, if you’re a tortoise, you’ll need the extra time if you plan to take up hiking. A tortoise named Bowser was spotted by police officers Aug. 1, ambulating his merry way down a path near Portland’s Southeast Flavel Street, KGW.com reported. The officers took stock of the situation and quickly realized that someone’s pet was on the lam. They “picked up and secured the tortoise” and contacted Multnomah County Animal Control. The tortoise had been reported missing two days earlier; Bowser’s owner, Jasmine Sprague, said he’d escaped their fenced-in yard through a gate that was left open. She scoured the neighborhood for days looking for the runaway reptile: “We know he likes blackberries and dandelions, and so we were searching yards and bushes.” Bowser traveled about a half mile before he was apprehended. It remains unclear where exactly he was moseying and meandering to, or why he was on the run, but his humans are happy he’s safely home after his 880-yard adventure.
COLORADO
Lately, it seems like bears have been showing up unannounced and without a formal invitation in a lot of unexpected places: visiting elementary school classrooms; stealing Oreos out of family homes; hanging out at a Lake Tahoe golf tournament — one determined bruin walked a thousand miles back to its favorite campground after authorities relocated it — but crashing a Renaissance fair? That’s a new one, but also not surprising, considering that, well, bears will be bears. Smoky, an 80-pound black bear, found a cozy nook underneath one building and didn’t want to leave. “Ironically, it was under a building that sold honeycombs,” said the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office. Deputies were called to the scene at the Colorado Renaissance Festival in Larkspur, kdvr.com reported. Fair maidens, noble knights and other merry revelers were steered away from the area while officials from Colorado Parks and Wildlife diplomatically helped escort Smoky off the property — ideally to someplace a whole lot less people-y — before anything truly medieval went down.
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This article appeared in the October 2024 print edition of the magazine with the headline “Heard around the West.”
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