MONTANA
What’s a homeowner supposed to do when a grizzly bear takes a shine to their 6-foot-tall shed and starts using it as a combination scent post/back scratcher/claw-sharpening-and-nail-polishing device? Jamie Goguen realized she had a beary big problem indeed when a very large grizzly — estimated at between 700 and 800 pounds — began enthusiastically tearing up the generator shed on her property. Fortunately, the folks at Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks know a thing or two about bruins, and they came up with a fur-raising solution to the problem, Field & Stream reported, teaming up with Goguen to install electric fencing that should discourage future visits and “prevent further conflicts with humans and structures.” We just hope the grizzly finds a decent replacement. You know how it is when you get an itch; you’ve just got to scratch it, no matter where you are.
WASHINGTON
Taylor Swift’s “Eras Tour” is not just breaking records; it’s keeping local seismologists busy. The Seattle Times reported that all the singing, dancing and screaming during Swift’s back-to-back, sold-out shows at Seattle’s Lumen Field in July generated seismic activity comparable to a 2.3 magnitude earthquake. A reported 72,171 fans were rocking out, and that’s a lot of Swifties. Scientists have been warning us that “The Big One” is due to hit the Pacific Northwest any day now. We just hadn’t realized they were talking about a pop star.
MONTANA
When the newspaper’s front page features an above-the-fold story about an “unidentified electric vehicle” siphoning power from the local electric utility, chances are it’s either a slow news day or a very small town. The vehicle in question, a Tesla Model Y, belonged to Chad Lauterbach, who drove from Los Angeles with his girlfriend, Allis Markham, a well-known taxidermist, to Ekalaka to volunteer at the county museum’s annual dinosaur festival, the Montana Free Press reported. Unfortunately, Ekalaka, population 400, is located in a vehicle-charging wasteland two hours from the nearest Walmart. The car’s navigation system began “throwing out warnings” during the long drive, but if worse came to worst, Lauterbach hoped that a good Samaritan would rescue them — though it might take days to recharge a vehicle using a 120-volt outlet tucked away in someone’s garage. However, they got lucky; there was an unlocked outlet connected to a utility pole on Ekalaka’s main street. Markham hesitated to use it, but Lauterbach said that if anyone noticed his car and got worried, they could get in touch with the museum director, whom he’d previously notified. Surprise, someone did notice it: The next day, Lauterback’s Tesla appeared on the Ekalaka Eagle’s front page, described as a “UEV: Unidentified electric vehicle,” and the article questioned whether the car’s owner had actually paid for what it dubbed the “stolen volts.” Markham hurried over to the power company, the Southeast Electric Cooperative, and told the front desk that she was “here to pay for the crimes of the UEV,” causing the staff to howl with laughter. The couple ended up paying $60 for the electricity, enough to cover the band that used the outlet during the dinosaur festival’s street dance. Asked about whether the utility co-op has plans to install an electric charging station, manager Tye Williams replied that they’d been “kicking around the idea,” but Ekalaka is so remote it isn’t on the state’s priority list, though Williams agreed that they’d need to do something within the next decade, “or some amount of time.” Markham, who had warned Lauterbach about charging his car without permission, clearly got a charge out of the whole situation: “Having an ‘I told you so’ on the front page of the paper is very validating for a woman,” she quipped.
OREGON
“Happy birthday” to Herman the Sturgeon, a renowned 10-foot-long, over 500-pound fish who recently turned 88, KGW8 News reports. The stately birthday dame — this particular Herman is actually female, not male — resides at the Bonneville Dam Fish Hatchery, a popular site for folks to visit and learn about fish hatcheries, conservation and really big fish like Herman. “It’s the perfect place to have an interpretative center for sturgeons and talk about conservation of the species and then just enjoy a really wonderful day on grounds that are beautifully manicured and landscaped,” said Tim Greseth, executive director of the Oregon Wildlife Foundation. Fun fact: Sturgeons have been around since Jurassic times, though, as we all know, a lady — even if she’s a fish named Herman — seldom reveals her true age.
Note: This story was updated to correct the state in which the Bonneville Fish Hatchery is located. It is in Oregon, not Washington.
Tiffany Midge is a citizen of the Standing Rock Nation and was raised by wolves in the Pacific Northwest. Her book, Bury My Heart at Chuck E. Cheese’s (Bison Books, 2019), was a Washington State Book Award nominee. She resides in north-central Idaho near the Columbia River Plateau, homeland of the Nimiipuu.
Tips of Western oddities are appreciated and often shared in this column. Write heard@hcn.org, or submit a letter to the editor.
This article appeared in the print edition of the magazine with the headline Heard Around the West.
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